I’m pretty sure you’ve had the pleasure of watching someone you love struggle. You may have even wanted to take the pain onto yourself so they wouldn’t have to hurt so much. It’s totally heartbreaking and a special kind of hell to be in a place like that.
About 7 years ago, I had the misfortune of watching my baby brother go through one of the hardest, darkest times of his life and struggle with suicidal ideations. I writhed in pain wishing I could take his pain away, terrified I might lose him. I think what hurt most was knowing that I understood why he felt the way he did. I could relate to his experience and had started to find a tangible hope and healing for my pain. I desperately wanted to share it with him and would have given anything to be able to reach him and convince him life was worth living.
Unfortunately, I lived in LA at the time and he in Las Vegas. When I did try to talk to him, he wasn’t able to express himself and certainly didn’t want to try. I was powerless to do anything more than pray. I felt that if he would just be willing to talk to me and listen, that I could comfort him and help him through like his big sister should. It tore me in two knowing that he didn’t feel like I had anything to offer him.
I wrote this next song “Hanging” to him during that time of our lives. Since I felt unable to express myself to him over the phone or in any other way, I told him how I felt through song lyrics and have since written music and turned it into a song. Gratefully, my brother found the help he needed and has made miraculous progress in his healing ever since. I am very proud of the man he is becoming and have been blessed to share treasured heart-to-hearts with him in the last few years. One day, I hope to share this song with him once I have recorded the music. Until then, I hope you enjoy my heartfelt words and find your voice in them!
If you or someone you know have been faced the the possibility of a suicide, or have lost a loved one to suicide, please contact me here and allow me to share with you the Grief Recovery program that saved my life!