Ladies and gentlemen, we are getting super real tonight! After my car accident in 2008 and subsequent end of my engagement in 2009, I moved to Los Angeles in April 2010 to pursue my dream of being a rock singer at the Musicians Institute (MI). I got to LA, started school, and quickly realized that I was a HOT MESS of grief, trauma, and addiction and that no one, including me, really took me seriously as a person or musician.
My first term at MI was filled with me acting as “rockstar” as I could. I was a whiskey-slamming, one-night-standing, coke head. The partying and addiction got so bad that I ended up getting fantastically addicted to a narcissistic sociopath who used me, lied to me, talked crap about me to the girlfriend he told me he didn’t have–all the while sleeping and partying with me, and even went so far as to get me evicted from my apartment after I caught him in a lie and confronted him about it! GEESH!!! It hurts just typing that out!
Sadly, I took him back after all this, and the fun doesn’t end there! A few weeks before the end of my first term at MI, he badly sprained his ankle at a party. I decided to stay with him and play Nurse Jenn for the final weeks of the term, trying to make sure he didn’t fail his classes and naively hoping to convince him I was worth his love and devotion. When the term finally ended, I went away on a family vacation to Lake Tahoe and left him to cope alone. Not-so-surprisingly, I never heard from him again.
It was on this vacation I wrote this next song, “Detox”. I was detoxing off cocaine and decided I was never going to touch it again, given all that had just happened with this guy. He was the “mistake” that caused me to quit, and by the grace of God, I haven’t touched it since! This song was turned into music and recorded with my first-ever band Anticoda in 2011. To listen to the song in full, please check it out here:
I am very proud of this song and really hope you enjoy it!
“Oohs”, “Aahs”, shares and comments welcome!